We have now been in Romania for six months.
I love it here. I love that my days are full of helping people and sharing the Word with them.
Before we began to pray about coming here, I never had a huge desire to go to Romania
or any European country. I read something recently that resonated with me and made me so glad we came.
"Don't wait for a feeling of love in order to share Christ with a stranger. You already love your heavenly Father and know that this stranger is created by Him, but separated from Him, so take those first steps in evangelism because you love God. It is not primarily out of a compassion for humanity that we share our faith or pray for the lost; it is first of all, love for God.
Humanity does not deserve the love of God anymore than you or I do. We should never be Christian humanists, taking Jesus to poor sinful people, reducing Jesus to some kind of product that will better their lot. We deserve to be damned, but Jesus, the suffering Lamb of God, deserves the reward of His suffering."
Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper
I am glad I didn't wait for a feeling of love for Romania, but that we just obeyed!
When we came to Romania we knew it was for a trial period. We never felt like the Lord told us to sell everything and just move here. We believe He led us here for a time to see if this should be more permanent for our family.
We have spent our time here mostly praying for clarity from the Holy Spirit. What is our purpose here? Are we to stay long term and serve here?
Well, the Lord has clearly answered our prayers!
BUT, He did not answer in the way we thought.
Both of us, knowing we came for a trial period, thought we would stay here for a long time.
Instead, the Lord has told us to return to Knoxville to be local missionaries there again for another season.
The story in Luke 8 of Jesus healing Legion is one of my very favorite stories!
I have read it over and over and the Lord has told us what He told Legion after being healed,
"'Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for.' And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him." (Luke 8:39)
Though we already have salvation in Christ, there is so much God has done for us! I could write a book, but I will just stick with the blog for now.
Seriously though, God has done a tremendous work in our lives through us being here. And though our bodies will not physically be here much longer, our support doesn't stop. Our prayers don't stop. Our sharing of what God is doing here doesn't stop!
We are not leaving because we don't like Romania!
Many Romanians think this way. We actually really love it here!
We are returning home because we prayed and fasted and prayed a lot more and God answered!
He just didn't answer the way I thought He would. I thought that because that was my desire and it was a godly desire that it would happen.
I have learned that I don't want my desires to be about what I want, I want them to be what God wants for my family!
Don't get me wrong, we believe that missions is crucial and we are all about mission work and being missionaries wherever we go. But, the Lord has told us that for this next season we are to return to Knoxville...our local mission field.
*TWO THINGS STICK OUT THAT I WANT TO SHARE:
1. The Lord gave me a word from the Word a couple of months ago.
"Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
as in obeying the voice of the Lord?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
and to listen than the fat of rams."
1 Samuel 15:22
Originally we could have stayed back home and not come here.
Ignored the voice of the Lord.
We could have tried to bargain with God and just give more money, more time.
The Lord asked us to give our very lives and share them with the people in Romania.
To share what the transforming power of Christ can do to a wretched sinner like me.
He likes to make things new. He is into restoring ugly beat up things.
He wants to bring us to repentance and sanctify us and show us that we can't earn salvation.
It's just a gift!
So glad we obeyed!
2. Peace
In one of the other posts I mentioned how I had a continuous desire to be a missionary, but had so many unanswered questions like, where? how long?
I lived with guilt of feeling that I should be somewhere else doing more.
I truly believe the Lord brought us here to grant peace.
To assure us that we were exactly where God wanted us.
That I can do more in Knoxville.
Being in the states isn't any less of a mission field than Romania, Africa or India.
The Lord has affirmed that this is not the time or place for our family to serve full term in international missions.
I am finally at peace with that.
I'm sad, but I have peace.
The Lord has shown us ways in which we can serve in the local and foreign mission fields. We are excited to see what this will look like in the future.
Right now, I am thankful for a peaceful and content heart.
Last thing,
One of the sweet gifts God gave me was that He allowed me to be here. It has been a blessing and joy to work with the ministry here and work alongside Robin and Aaron and the rest of the team here. They blow me away with their hard work, their commitment and their love to share the Gospel with the people here. We are going to miss it like crazy and I already feel like my heart is just being torn in two.
No doubt, I am forever changed!
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