This summer on Sunday nights I have hosted a small group of ladies to study the book of Ruth with me. So much more has happened than just learn about the book of Ruth; the ladies and I have learned so much about each other and grown closer together. It has been a sweet time and tonight is our last night of Ruth.
We have learned not only about God's provision for Naomi and Ruth, but we have been reminded again about God's provision for all nations, the gift of salvation through His son. His son who was born through the lineage of Ruth, a Moabitess who was not originally one of God's people, but came from a wicked land that worshiped a false god.
Ruth...it's a beautiful story of redemption, of seeing God provide in even better ways than we could imagine through some bitter things that He allows to pass through His hand and into our lives.
It's a love story. A love story of grace and humility and making plans and trusting God.
A story to remind Naomi that He didn't bring her back to Bethlehem empty handed. She felt like it, but He made her full again through the offspring of Ruth.
Ruth....a story of showing that the grace and forgiveness and love of God can be for every single person on this planet. It isn't just for the white American who may seem to have it all together and dresses up pretty on a Sunday to go to church. It is also for those who live in dire poverty in our own cities or in far away lands across the ocean. It is for those who have made stupid decisions that have not only affected them, but others. It is for those who have led wicked paths or come from evil backgrounds (like Ruth.) It is for those who have come to the end of themselves and realize they can't save themselves.
His salvation is for all of us. His death on the cross once and for all is enough to cover all the wicked sin that floods our hearts. He can wash us pure as snow.
The story of Ruth is really about Jesus. I love seeing the story of redemption throughout the Old Testament and then flow into the new. Boaz was Ruth's redeemer and Jesus is our Redeemer!
To study the book of Ruth, I read A Sweet and Bitter Providence by John Piper and we listened to a sermon series by Mark Driscoll. You can follow this link and watch. There are six sermons.
http://marshill.com/media/redeemingruth
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
how Mother's Day became missional
Mother's Day was one month ago and I haven't blogged in a while. So I am playing catch up.
It's kind of silly pinning one day to be Mother's Day out of 365 days isn't it?
Everyday I am grateful for the mothers in my life.
Everyday is Mother's Day, when you wake up to two giggly and beautiful children God entrusts to you. You know deep down that life is a vapor and we aren't promised tomorrow. And give thanks for those babies because so many tearful women live among us who can't have them.
This Mother's Day was our 2nd Annual Romania Bake Sale and all the proceeds go to help send our team on a summer trip. It was happening at both church campuses.
The kids and I go and work the tables at the main campus since we had done this before. I love doing the bake sale because it is fun, I love sweets and I love anything that has to do with Romania/Belief in Motion.
Something unexpected happened at the bake sale.
Noah just took charge!
He carried cakes (which made me extremely nervous) and cookies where they needed to go. He walked from one end of the church lobby to the next to check on tables and see if they both had enough variety.
When the little old ladies came by and said, "oh, molasses cookies?! I've never had those." He responded with, "Well, if you like gingerbread, you're gonna love molasses cookies. I already sampled them and they are delicious. You should get some!"
No training beforehand....he was a natural salesman.
Then, the little old ladies would ask what we were going to do with the money. Noah shared about how his dad is taking some friends there this summer and the money is helping them get there. He got to share about living in Romania and his friend Simion and some of the needs the people have in Romania and how they need Jesus.
Mother's Day became missional.
Noah's life is becoming missional.
My heart was melting.
I realized then and there that as a mother my ultimate goal is to lead the little people God gives me right back to Jesus! What better way than to teach him to love "the least of these."
What better way to teach him that it is good to spend our time raising money so others can go and see reality around the world and that it isn't about "stuff" and making money, but it's about souls and making disciples.
I am so glad that God spoke to Steve's heart that February in 2009 and told him to move us to Romania for a little bit. Our lives are better for it. Our hearts are forever linked to the people there. We love them and the missionaries there. We began learning what really matters. God taught us so many things and it has seeped into the hearts of our children.
This Mother's Day was a reminder that everyday I am an instrument of God, molding their little hearts and minds. What we do with our time with them matters much!
What is the mark you are leaving on their lives? What or who are you leading them to?
It's kind of silly pinning one day to be Mother's Day out of 365 days isn't it?
Everyday I am grateful for the mothers in my life.
Everyday is Mother's Day, when you wake up to two giggly and beautiful children God entrusts to you. You know deep down that life is a vapor and we aren't promised tomorrow. And give thanks for those babies because so many tearful women live among us who can't have them.
This Mother's Day was our 2nd Annual Romania Bake Sale and all the proceeds go to help send our team on a summer trip. It was happening at both church campuses.
The kids and I go and work the tables at the main campus since we had done this before. I love doing the bake sale because it is fun, I love sweets and I love anything that has to do with Romania/Belief in Motion.
Something unexpected happened at the bake sale.
Noah just took charge!
He carried cakes (which made me extremely nervous) and cookies where they needed to go. He walked from one end of the church lobby to the next to check on tables and see if they both had enough variety.
When the little old ladies came by and said, "oh, molasses cookies?! I've never had those." He responded with, "Well, if you like gingerbread, you're gonna love molasses cookies. I already sampled them and they are delicious. You should get some!"
No training beforehand....he was a natural salesman.
Then, the little old ladies would ask what we were going to do with the money. Noah shared about how his dad is taking some friends there this summer and the money is helping them get there. He got to share about living in Romania and his friend Simion and some of the needs the people have in Romania and how they need Jesus.
Mother's Day became missional.
Noah's life is becoming missional.
My heart was melting.
I realized then and there that as a mother my ultimate goal is to lead the little people God gives me right back to Jesus! What better way than to teach him to love "the least of these."
What better way to teach him that it is good to spend our time raising money so others can go and see reality around the world and that it isn't about "stuff" and making money, but it's about souls and making disciples.
I am so glad that God spoke to Steve's heart that February in 2009 and told him to move us to Romania for a little bit. Our lives are better for it. Our hearts are forever linked to the people there. We love them and the missionaries there. We began learning what really matters. God taught us so many things and it has seeped into the hearts of our children.
This Mother's Day was a reminder that everyday I am an instrument of God, molding their little hearts and minds. What we do with our time with them matters much!
What is the mark you are leaving on their lives? What or who are you leading them to?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Holy Week
We have been sick most of the week off and on and so I never got out some fun ideas for Holy Week until today, Maundy Thursday. Better late than never. Perhaps these will be more useful for you next year.
1. Family Lenten Devotion- The Word Became Flesh. This is a devotional to do for the 40 days leading up to Easter. If you do a Jesse Tree at Christmas you will like this. It has an image and you can make pictures for a wreath or Easter tree or simply do the devotion (that's what we did this year.) You cannot buy this at stores. I got mine through a friend so if you want one comment below or email me and I can try to get the info to you. The 40 days of devotions are on the life of Christ! My kids LOVE it! There are questions to ask after the story and there is a prayer and songs to sing. :)
2. Palm Sunday- make or purchase palm branches. A friend gave us a couple of palm branches that have been the centerpiece of our table all week and also fun to play with. :) When telling the story of Jesus riding into Jerusalem my kids love waving these and shouting "hosanna" or laying them out on the ground with their coats as we pretend Jesus is riding through.
3. Resurrection Eggs- these are old school, but kids love these! My children take turns shaking, guessing and opening the eggs and we tell the story of each symbol and it is a fun way to teach Truth and history.
4. Easter coloring books- we found these at our local Christian bookstore. They have different ones for different age levels. My son loves art and coloring and he has enjoyed this a lot.
5. Wednesday- prepare for a Passover feast. I have never done this before, but this year is the first time we will have a traditional Jewish Passover Feast on Maundy Thursday. So, on Wednesday we found a market that sells grass fed lamb. We purchased our first lamb of leg (warning: if you don't have a groupon or coupon you may have to take out a small loan to purchase some lamb). Half kidding, but thankful I had a groupon and got 50% off my lamb. :) Wednesday night Steve and I prepared the blood dripping lamb and poured a homemade marinade in all of the crevices and through all the strings that bound this lamb together. Thursday afternoon, I think this is going to be a great picture of how the lamb of God, blood dripping, silent, he was led to slaughter for our sin.
6. Maundy Thursday: Wash each other's feet as you tell the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet. Then, the Passover feast. Tonight we will have our first Passover feast. This may be a disaster as I have never cooked lamb, but worth a try. You can also have "wine", horseradish, parsley or potatoes, matzah, vegetables, salty water to dip your parsley in, apples & raisins and a boiled egg. There is meaning behind each of these items. If you look up Jewish Seder plate you will get more information. Also, on Ann Voskamp's blog (A Holy Experience) she has a Christian Haggadah Passover booklet that you can print out and has a lot of information on what to eat, what it means and questions to ask over dinner. This is what I printed out this week.
7. Good Friday- we will color eggs and talk about new life in Christ & resurrection. Good Friday services are held at many churches.
*This has nothing to do with Good Friday, but we will fill plastic Easter eggs because on Saturday we are going to an Easter egg hunt in a friends neighborhood and will have some fun with old and new friends.
8. Saturday- we are cooking for our Easter Sunday lunch and Easter egg hunt
9. Easter Sunday- Resurrection rolls for breakfast. Yummo and fun! We are making some other fun snacks too. Celebrating new life in Christ and so much HOPE!
Sorry I don't have links to anything I mentioned. I wanted to share our ideas for Holy Week, but am short on time.
Blessings and Happy Easter!!
1. Family Lenten Devotion- The Word Became Flesh. This is a devotional to do for the 40 days leading up to Easter. If you do a Jesse Tree at Christmas you will like this. It has an image and you can make pictures for a wreath or Easter tree or simply do the devotion (that's what we did this year.) You cannot buy this at stores. I got mine through a friend so if you want one comment below or email me and I can try to get the info to you. The 40 days of devotions are on the life of Christ! My kids LOVE it! There are questions to ask after the story and there is a prayer and songs to sing. :)
2. Palm Sunday- make or purchase palm branches. A friend gave us a couple of palm branches that have been the centerpiece of our table all week and also fun to play with. :) When telling the story of Jesus riding into Jerusalem my kids love waving these and shouting "hosanna" or laying them out on the ground with their coats as we pretend Jesus is riding through.
3. Resurrection Eggs- these are old school, but kids love these! My children take turns shaking, guessing and opening the eggs and we tell the story of each symbol and it is a fun way to teach Truth and history.
4. Easter coloring books- we found these at our local Christian bookstore. They have different ones for different age levels. My son loves art and coloring and he has enjoyed this a lot.
5. Wednesday- prepare for a Passover feast. I have never done this before, but this year is the first time we will have a traditional Jewish Passover Feast on Maundy Thursday. So, on Wednesday we found a market that sells grass fed lamb. We purchased our first lamb of leg (warning: if you don't have a groupon or coupon you may have to take out a small loan to purchase some lamb). Half kidding, but thankful I had a groupon and got 50% off my lamb. :) Wednesday night Steve and I prepared the blood dripping lamb and poured a homemade marinade in all of the crevices and through all the strings that bound this lamb together. Thursday afternoon, I think this is going to be a great picture of how the lamb of God, blood dripping, silent, he was led to slaughter for our sin.
6. Maundy Thursday: Wash each other's feet as you tell the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet. Then, the Passover feast. Tonight we will have our first Passover feast. This may be a disaster as I have never cooked lamb, but worth a try. You can also have "wine", horseradish, parsley or potatoes, matzah, vegetables, salty water to dip your parsley in, apples & raisins and a boiled egg. There is meaning behind each of these items. If you look up Jewish Seder plate you will get more information. Also, on Ann Voskamp's blog (A Holy Experience) she has a Christian Haggadah Passover booklet that you can print out and has a lot of information on what to eat, what it means and questions to ask over dinner. This is what I printed out this week.
7. Good Friday- we will color eggs and talk about new life in Christ & resurrection. Good Friday services are held at many churches.
*This has nothing to do with Good Friday, but we will fill plastic Easter eggs because on Saturday we are going to an Easter egg hunt in a friends neighborhood and will have some fun with old and new friends.
8. Saturday- we are cooking for our Easter Sunday lunch and Easter egg hunt
9. Easter Sunday- Resurrection rolls for breakfast. Yummo and fun! We are making some other fun snacks too. Celebrating new life in Christ and so much HOPE!
Sorry I don't have links to anything I mentioned. I wanted to share our ideas for Holy Week, but am short on time.
Blessings and Happy Easter!!
Friday, March 22, 2013
the church in my home
Wednesday night is the highlight of my week.
We cram three tables in our dining room and people still spill into the living room to eat dinner while sitting on couches and chairs. We started meeting eight months ago with about 10 peeps and now around 30 members of the body of Christ pour into our home for dinner, fellowship, prayer, worship music and Biblical teaching. Our model comes from Acts 2:42:
"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers."
We have made sweet friendships with so many people and we are all so different. It has been the greatest gift to have church in our home. It is more personal and intimate. Recently we started a new church campus of the church we have been attending for 10 years in Knoxville. Since Sunday morning services started in January we have not stopped stressing that Sunday morning is not the main event. That isn't it. It isn't so much about going to church, but about being the church all the time, regardless of who you are with and where you are. We want everyone to be connected on a week night to a huddle group where they can be known and know others and grow spiritually with other people in the church.
This is where discipleship begins for some.
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." ~Hebrews 10:24-25
Wednesday night in our home is a time for us to consider how we can stir one another up to love and good works and encourage one another in the faith. It's not only happening in our home in North Knoxville, but in three others homes and more are about to start up. It's so exciting to see what the Father is doing in each of our lives because of Christ.
Where do you find yourself?
I hope you are in the habit of meeting together with other believers.
If not, where are you and why?
Are you neglecting to meet together with other believers?
Let's examine our lives, reflect, pray and see what the Lord would have us do. Reading Hebrews, I am convinced that we are not to neglect meeting with believers. So if you are a believer and neglecting this aspect of discipleship I am fully convinced that is not what the Lord wants for you.
You may be disgusted with the churches you have been to because of their practices and beliefs. You may just be indifferent and not care about going. You may have tried it and your life didn't look any different or the lives of those there were no different. You may be lazy or "too busy." We humans are so good at finding excuses and reasons to not.
But consider that there are others who need you! We need the body of believers. The churches that you are disgusted with may need you as an example there or maybe you should start your own church. Houses do not have to be big to have church service within. Our humble home of 1750 square feet gets packed out and church is able to happen because it isn't about the building, it's about the people.
My challenge and encouragement is for you to first examine your heart and life. And then see where you can engage your community to either be discipled or be a disciple maker. What are you devoted to right now??
I have found that dying to self is completely LIFE GIVING!
We cram three tables in our dining room and people still spill into the living room to eat dinner while sitting on couches and chairs. We started meeting eight months ago with about 10 peeps and now around 30 members of the body of Christ pour into our home for dinner, fellowship, prayer, worship music and Biblical teaching. Our model comes from Acts 2:42:
"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers."
We have made sweet friendships with so many people and we are all so different. It has been the greatest gift to have church in our home. It is more personal and intimate. Recently we started a new church campus of the church we have been attending for 10 years in Knoxville. Since Sunday morning services started in January we have not stopped stressing that Sunday morning is not the main event. That isn't it. It isn't so much about going to church, but about being the church all the time, regardless of who you are with and where you are. We want everyone to be connected on a week night to a huddle group where they can be known and know others and grow spiritually with other people in the church.
This is where discipleship begins for some.
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." ~Hebrews 10:24-25
Wednesday night in our home is a time for us to consider how we can stir one another up to love and good works and encourage one another in the faith. It's not only happening in our home in North Knoxville, but in three others homes and more are about to start up. It's so exciting to see what the Father is doing in each of our lives because of Christ.
Where do you find yourself?
I hope you are in the habit of meeting together with other believers.
If not, where are you and why?
Are you neglecting to meet together with other believers?
Let's examine our lives, reflect, pray and see what the Lord would have us do. Reading Hebrews, I am convinced that we are not to neglect meeting with believers. So if you are a believer and neglecting this aspect of discipleship I am fully convinced that is not what the Lord wants for you.
You may be disgusted with the churches you have been to because of their practices and beliefs. You may just be indifferent and not care about going. You may have tried it and your life didn't look any different or the lives of those there were no different. You may be lazy or "too busy." We humans are so good at finding excuses and reasons to not.
But consider that there are others who need you! We need the body of believers. The churches that you are disgusted with may need you as an example there or maybe you should start your own church. Houses do not have to be big to have church service within. Our humble home of 1750 square feet gets packed out and church is able to happen because it isn't about the building, it's about the people.
My challenge and encouragement is for you to first examine your heart and life. And then see where you can engage your community to either be discipled or be a disciple maker. What are you devoted to right now??
I have found that dying to self is completely LIFE GIVING!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Make it Meaningful
Easter.
My favorite holiday.
So much to celebrate because so much has been redeemed in Christ!
As our children get older we try to make each day and even our holidays meaningful. We realize how much our culture has commercialized these sacred days and we buy into it!
Seriously, what does a bunny and marshmallow peeps have to do with Easter? How did there come to be a rabbit who delivers eggs?? Rabbits don't even lay eggs? It seriously just cracks. me. up.
Now, please don't roll your eyes and stop reading!
We don't ditch everything. Maybe we should, but we don't. But, we are learning to try to keep the main the main thing. I want to share how we will celebrate Holy Week this year, but before I do I just want to encourage you to make your children's Easter baskets meaningful.
Do your children wake up to a basket full of gifts and goodies?? And then later go hunting for eggs filled with refined sugars? Mine have to, but not this year. We are going to hunt Easter eggs with neighborhood kids and ingest some sugar, but when they wake up on Easter morning their baskets will not be filled. Their baskets will be empty except for plastic eggs filled with a slip of paper. That slip of paper will have a list of the things that we bought for others in Romania who are in desperate need of food to survive! Not thrive, but merely survive!
My challenge to you is to take the money that you would spend on chocolate rabbits and marshmallow peeps and use it to purchase some garden seeds, fruit trees and baby chicks for families who are in true need! Your children are NOT missing out.
They are gaining...
a better understanding of the needs in our world
a better understanding of "it is better to give than to receive"
a better understanding of love!
Chicks= $1.50 each
Chicks provide eggs for families to eat and then later, chicken!
Fruit trees= $7 each
When we were there and got to deliver these trees the people ran to their tiny backyards and planted them immediately!! They will take care of their trees and have nutritious fruit for years to come.
Garden Seeds= .90cents a pack
They plant their gardens the day they are delivered and it provides food for their families in the summer and fall months
I wish you could be there to see their faces when they get these gifts. I wish I could be there. It is priceless!
Here is the link: http://www.beliefinmotion.org/tp60/Application.asp?app=Store&ID=296860
If you would like to purchase any of these things and then write that on some paper for your child's Easter basket it would mean so much to the Romanian people. Your children will learn so much from it.
Don't our children get so much? It seems every month there is a holiday and so much junk in the stores for us to buy for our children.
We need to start living counter culture and fight against consumerism! It is so hard, but let's begin praying for how we can live differently and celebrate Christ meaningfully!
More to come on Holy Week later....
My favorite holiday.
So much to celebrate because so much has been redeemed in Christ!
As our children get older we try to make each day and even our holidays meaningful. We realize how much our culture has commercialized these sacred days and we buy into it!
Seriously, what does a bunny and marshmallow peeps have to do with Easter? How did there come to be a rabbit who delivers eggs?? Rabbits don't even lay eggs? It seriously just cracks. me. up.
Now, please don't roll your eyes and stop reading!
We don't ditch everything. Maybe we should, but we don't. But, we are learning to try to keep the main the main thing. I want to share how we will celebrate Holy Week this year, but before I do I just want to encourage you to make your children's Easter baskets meaningful.
Do your children wake up to a basket full of gifts and goodies?? And then later go hunting for eggs filled with refined sugars? Mine have to, but not this year. We are going to hunt Easter eggs with neighborhood kids and ingest some sugar, but when they wake up on Easter morning their baskets will not be filled. Their baskets will be empty except for plastic eggs filled with a slip of paper. That slip of paper will have a list of the things that we bought for others in Romania who are in desperate need of food to survive! Not thrive, but merely survive!
My challenge to you is to take the money that you would spend on chocolate rabbits and marshmallow peeps and use it to purchase some garden seeds, fruit trees and baby chicks for families who are in true need! Your children are NOT missing out.
They are gaining...
a better understanding of the needs in our world
a better understanding of "it is better to give than to receive"
a better understanding of love!
Chicks= $1.50 each
Chicks provide eggs for families to eat and then later, chicken!
Fruit trees= $7 each
When we were there and got to deliver these trees the people ran to their tiny backyards and planted them immediately!! They will take care of their trees and have nutritious fruit for years to come.
Garden Seeds= .90cents a pack
They plant their gardens the day they are delivered and it provides food for their families in the summer and fall months
I wish you could be there to see their faces when they get these gifts. I wish I could be there. It is priceless!
Here is the link: http://www.beliefinmotion.org/tp60/Application.asp?app=Store&ID=296860
If you would like to purchase any of these things and then write that on some paper for your child's Easter basket it would mean so much to the Romanian people. Your children will learn so much from it.
Don't our children get so much? It seems every month there is a holiday and so much junk in the stores for us to buy for our children.
We need to start living counter culture and fight against consumerism! It is so hard, but let's begin praying for how we can live differently and celebrate Christ meaningfully!
More to come on Holy Week later....
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Why Does God Allow Satan to Live
A friend of mine was murdered along with her seven year old son last Sunday morning. She leaves behind two beautiful daughters, Kenna (4) and Emily (1).
Krista was the most transparent person I knew. She was sympathetic. She was thoughtful. She was generous. And she talked smiling all of the time. She had a beautiful smile.
Kenna was born three weeks before Paige. They have matching baby blankets. Zachary was one year older than Noah and their personalities and temperaments were so very similar.
As the news updates progressed throughout the week and we learned how savagely they were murdered by their husband and father our hearts were heavy, our stomachs full of knots. I started pondering a lot of questions that I had never thought about before, namely having to do with the character of God.
I have known many inhumane things to happen in the world and seen so many with my own eyes. So, why now was I questioning God's plan.
Well, it just got personal.
It had never happened to someone that I knew and loved and that I spent time with. A family who had been in my house and we in theirs. A family who we knew loved the Lord and supported us in missions and even to present day. Krista had just sent me an email the day before she was killed telling me she was praying for us.
And my mind starts churning all these thoughts and questions...
How does it all just fall apart?
How does something so sweet turn so evil?
Was he truly a follower of Jesus?
Can Christians murder?
Is murder different than my more "respectable sin?"
Who am I? I'm not any better.
But compared to a murderer, I feel like I'm better.
And I don't like that thought. Because I know I'm not any better.
How is this loving of God?
Why did innocent little Zachary have to struggle for air until he just couldn't anymore and he slipped into Home with Jesus?
This isn't supposed to happen.
Right?
Not like this! Right?
Sometimes God's plan doesn't look or feel better than our own.
Why does Satan have to be the prince of the air?
God, why don't You just crush him now?!
This video by John Piper gave me some solace. Some Truth to chew on. To not question my God because in Him all things hold together. He knows what He is doing. His ways are higher and stronger and I will never completely understand them on this side. But, I pray that I glorify Him and that we glorify Him as we are all sifted as wheat because we will be sifted. May we be satisfied in Him even when life doesn't seem right or fair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmOzTY06mBo&feature=player_detailpage
Krista was the most transparent person I knew. She was sympathetic. She was thoughtful. She was generous. And she talked smiling all of the time. She had a beautiful smile.
Kenna was born three weeks before Paige. They have matching baby blankets. Zachary was one year older than Noah and their personalities and temperaments were so very similar.
As the news updates progressed throughout the week and we learned how savagely they were murdered by their husband and father our hearts were heavy, our stomachs full of knots. I started pondering a lot of questions that I had never thought about before, namely having to do with the character of God.
I have known many inhumane things to happen in the world and seen so many with my own eyes. So, why now was I questioning God's plan.
Well, it just got personal.
It had never happened to someone that I knew and loved and that I spent time with. A family who had been in my house and we in theirs. A family who we knew loved the Lord and supported us in missions and even to present day. Krista had just sent me an email the day before she was killed telling me she was praying for us.
And my mind starts churning all these thoughts and questions...
How does it all just fall apart?
How does something so sweet turn so evil?
Was he truly a follower of Jesus?
Can Christians murder?
Is murder different than my more "respectable sin?"
Who am I? I'm not any better.
But compared to a murderer, I feel like I'm better.
And I don't like that thought. Because I know I'm not any better.
How is this loving of God?
Why did innocent little Zachary have to struggle for air until he just couldn't anymore and he slipped into Home with Jesus?
This isn't supposed to happen.
Right?
Not like this! Right?
Sometimes God's plan doesn't look or feel better than our own.
Why does Satan have to be the prince of the air?
God, why don't You just crush him now?!
This video by John Piper gave me some solace. Some Truth to chew on. To not question my God because in Him all things hold together. He knows what He is doing. His ways are higher and stronger and I will never completely understand them on this side. But, I pray that I glorify Him and that we glorify Him as we are all sifted as wheat because we will be sifted. May we be satisfied in Him even when life doesn't seem right or fair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmOzTY06mBo&feature=player_detailpage
Friday, February 22, 2013
sharing grief in miscarriage
We sat at opposite ends of the couch facing each other. Our heads laid back, looking up at the photos hung all the wall. The two on the left are still hanging crooked. I can see his chest rising and falling and he's thinking. He's missing. Missing what will not be hanging on that wall come Spring. That third bundle of joy--we won't have a picture to hang like we do of our other two blessings. Tears stream down again.
And that's how it's been the last five months and two days. We don't talk about it to anyone; just to God and each other. About how much it hurts and there is immense pain and disappointment. There are tears and moments I just have to gush my heart out to God about why I don't understand why He did it at all. What was the purpose? Why did He take mine away and surround me with pregnant women and babies?
The ultrasound picture is still hanging on the fridge. The one we got the day we heart the strong 167 heart beats a minute. I don't want to forget.
The nursery bedroom stays closed because I can't stand the thought of looking into an empty room. There should be a crib up by now and the glider should be in the corner awaiting to soothe and nurse a hungry babe in the wee hours of the night.
My womb should be swollen and full of life, but it's not. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it and push back tears.
I know it seems silly. I was just three months along when it slipped away. I have friends who have lost babies full term. I know the pain I feel isn't as immense as theirs, but it still makes me incredibly sad. I had already had dreams of this baby and what our family would be like; to see Paige and Noah swoon over a little one in the house and help care for it. We had waited a couple of years for a baby and now... we can just hurry up and keep waiting.
How to find JOY in death, in loss, in disappointment. In simply not getting what I want.
He leads me to Mary...the mother of my Savior.
When the angel came and told her of God's plan and she simply responded, "I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word."
God literally filled her womb with the Son of God and she didn't complain, but accepted His will for her. She displayed such trust in the Lord. Even though many would not understand and would not believe her and Joseph could have had her stoned to death, she trusted.
The Lord reminded me tonight that when we humbly accept His plans (even when they do not align with our own) and trust Him, we are filled with great joy.
Because His ways and His plans are so much higher and greater than our own. He knows what is best for us. And though I can't see the big picture and I am not sure how He will work a miscarriage for our good, I am trusting and waiting to see what He does next! I am learning that HE is enough and HE alone can fill me with authentic JOY.
Our circumstances don't fill us with JOY, God does!
So whether your womb is filled or emptied, whether your monies are plentiful or scarce, whether your friends are many or few, whether your days consist of laundry, teaching manners to little ones, waiting tables, scheduling appointments, doing paperwork, running electrical wire in new construction, filing taxes or homeschooling your children...
God wants to fill you with JOY that isn't determined by your circumstances.
And that's how it's been the last five months and two days. We don't talk about it to anyone; just to God and each other. About how much it hurts and there is immense pain and disappointment. There are tears and moments I just have to gush my heart out to God about why I don't understand why He did it at all. What was the purpose? Why did He take mine away and surround me with pregnant women and babies?
The ultrasound picture is still hanging on the fridge. The one we got the day we heart the strong 167 heart beats a minute. I don't want to forget.
The nursery bedroom stays closed because I can't stand the thought of looking into an empty room. There should be a crib up by now and the glider should be in the corner awaiting to soothe and nurse a hungry babe in the wee hours of the night.
My womb should be swollen and full of life, but it's not. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it and push back tears.
I know it seems silly. I was just three months along when it slipped away. I have friends who have lost babies full term. I know the pain I feel isn't as immense as theirs, but it still makes me incredibly sad. I had already had dreams of this baby and what our family would be like; to see Paige and Noah swoon over a little one in the house and help care for it. We had waited a couple of years for a baby and now... we can just hurry up and keep waiting.
How to find JOY in death, in loss, in disappointment. In simply not getting what I want.
He leads me to Mary...the mother of my Savior.
When the angel came and told her of God's plan and she simply responded, "I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word."
God literally filled her womb with the Son of God and she didn't complain, but accepted His will for her. She displayed such trust in the Lord. Even though many would not understand and would not believe her and Joseph could have had her stoned to death, she trusted.
The Lord reminded me tonight that when we humbly accept His plans (even when they do not align with our own) and trust Him, we are filled with great joy.
Because His ways and His plans are so much higher and greater than our own. He knows what is best for us. And though I can't see the big picture and I am not sure how He will work a miscarriage for our good, I am trusting and waiting to see what He does next! I am learning that HE is enough and HE alone can fill me with authentic JOY.
Our circumstances don't fill us with JOY, God does!
So whether your womb is filled or emptied, whether your monies are plentiful or scarce, whether your friends are many or few, whether your days consist of laundry, teaching manners to little ones, waiting tables, scheduling appointments, doing paperwork, running electrical wire in new construction, filing taxes or homeschooling your children...
God wants to fill you with JOY that isn't determined by your circumstances.
Gratitude turns what we have into enough
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Word Became Flesh
Two weeks ago we finished reading the Old Testament with Noah and Paige.
Time to begin the New Testament with the birth of Christ and reading the only tidbits of his boyhood. We have not read many of the stories about the life and ministry of Jesus to our children. We have read so much of the Old Testament that I just realized in the last month that we haven't shared a lot of the New Testament with them.
Of course we have shared about the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus, but we have left out a very important piece--His life on earth.
My children and I have much to learn from His life. He was the greatest missionary and we want to live like Him.
We need to read about His life so that we know how to love, how to be content, how to pray, so we know who we are following and where are we going and why? We need to know how to be a good friend and how to turn the other cheek with others hurt us, how do we forgive, do we really have the power of God dwelling in us through the Holy Spirit?
We need to know when to go to the crowds and when to withdraw with the Father. We need the Bread of Life and the Living Water because we can't be good enough for God. We can't earn our salvation by memorizing enough verses, going to church enough, tithing enough. We can't earn salvation. It is a free gift of God--Grace!
So two weeks ago we start reading the New Testament and I am truly giddy inside that we are finally telling our children the TRUE stories of when the Christ child grew into a man like their father. I can't stop smiling as we start to read about the first miracle of turning water into wine and the stories and the miracles go on and on. I feel like a little kid inside as we share these stories of what Jesus really did! Reading about John baptizing Jesus and it finally clicking with Noah that John is Elizabeth and Zechariah's son. He remembered how God made Zechariah mute in the temple because he didn't believe Elizabeth would have a baby. Noah realizes that this is the same John that leapt in the womb of Elizabeth when Mary came to see her, pregnant with the Savior of the world. Maybe I am a nerd, but this excites me when the Holy Spirit is helping our son connect the dots of who is who in the Bible.
Last week, I get an email from a friend saying she knows of a Lenten devotional we can get our hands on. We have never observed Lent until this year. We are doing a very simple family devotion for the 40 days leading up to the the Resurrection Sunday. Guess what? The devotional starts with the birth of Christ and goes through His life and ministry! God knew me and my kids needed this!
Easter is my favorite holiday! A time where we can celebrate that Christ paid our debt. He had to do everything for us. He had to be the perfect sacrifice because we simply can do none of it! Excited to spend my days remembering to be mindful of the Word becoming Flesh.
So go on and crack open the New Testament, whether it be your first time reading the captivating stories or your 100th time to reread the Good News, I pray that the Spirit would refresh your joy and thankfulness and put a desire in your heart to live for Him alone.
Time to begin the New Testament with the birth of Christ and reading the only tidbits of his boyhood. We have not read many of the stories about the life and ministry of Jesus to our children. We have read so much of the Old Testament that I just realized in the last month that we haven't shared a lot of the New Testament with them.
Of course we have shared about the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus, but we have left out a very important piece--His life on earth.
My children and I have much to learn from His life. He was the greatest missionary and we want to live like Him.
We need to read about His life so that we know how to love, how to be content, how to pray, so we know who we are following and where are we going and why? We need to know how to be a good friend and how to turn the other cheek with others hurt us, how do we forgive, do we really have the power of God dwelling in us through the Holy Spirit?
We need to know when to go to the crowds and when to withdraw with the Father. We need the Bread of Life and the Living Water because we can't be good enough for God. We can't earn our salvation by memorizing enough verses, going to church enough, tithing enough. We can't earn salvation. It is a free gift of God--Grace!
So two weeks ago we start reading the New Testament and I am truly giddy inside that we are finally telling our children the TRUE stories of when the Christ child grew into a man like their father. I can't stop smiling as we start to read about the first miracle of turning water into wine and the stories and the miracles go on and on. I feel like a little kid inside as we share these stories of what Jesus really did! Reading about John baptizing Jesus and it finally clicking with Noah that John is Elizabeth and Zechariah's son. He remembered how God made Zechariah mute in the temple because he didn't believe Elizabeth would have a baby. Noah realizes that this is the same John that leapt in the womb of Elizabeth when Mary came to see her, pregnant with the Savior of the world. Maybe I am a nerd, but this excites me when the Holy Spirit is helping our son connect the dots of who is who in the Bible.
Last week, I get an email from a friend saying she knows of a Lenten devotional we can get our hands on. We have never observed Lent until this year. We are doing a very simple family devotion for the 40 days leading up to the the Resurrection Sunday. Guess what? The devotional starts with the birth of Christ and goes through His life and ministry! God knew me and my kids needed this!
Easter is my favorite holiday! A time where we can celebrate that Christ paid our debt. He had to do everything for us. He had to be the perfect sacrifice because we simply can do none of it! Excited to spend my days remembering to be mindful of the Word becoming Flesh.
So go on and crack open the New Testament, whether it be your first time reading the captivating stories or your 100th time to reread the Good News, I pray that the Spirit would refresh your joy and thankfulness and put a desire in your heart to live for Him alone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)