Proverbs 16:9 Part 3

We have now been in Romania for six months. 

I love it here.  I love that my days are full of helping people and sharing the Word with them.

Before we began to pray about coming here, I never had a huge desire to go to Romania

or any European country. I read something recently that resonated with me and made me so glad we came.

"Don't wait for a feeling of love in order to share Christ with a stranger. You already love your heavenly Father and know that this stranger is created by Him, but separated from Him, so take those first steps in evangelism because you love God. It is not primarily out of a compassion for humanity that we share our faith or pray for the lost; it is first of all, love for God. 

Humanity does not deserve the love of God anymore than you or I do. We should never be Christian humanists, taking Jesus to poor sinful people, reducing Jesus to some kind of product that will better their lot. We deserve to be damned, but Jesus, the suffering Lamb of God, deserves the reward of His suffering."

Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper

I am glad I didn't wait for a feeling of love for Romania, but that we just obeyed! 

When we came to Romania we knew it was for a trial period.  We never felt like the Lord told us to sell everything and just move here.  We believe He led us here for a time to see if this should be more permanent for our family.  

We have spent our time here mostly praying for clarity from the Holy Spirit. What is our purpose here? Are we to stay long term and serve here?  

Well, the Lord has clearly answered our prayers!

BUT, He did not answer in the way we thought.

Both of us, knowing we came for a trial period, thought we would stay here for a long time.  

Instead, the Lord has told us to return to Knoxville to be local missionaries there again for another season. 

The story in Luke 8 of Jesus healing Legion is one of my very favorite stories!

I have read it over and over and the Lord has told us what He told Legion after being healed, 

"'Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for.' And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him." (Luke 8:39)

Though we already have salvation in Christ, there is so much God has done for us! I could write a book, but I will just stick with the blog for now. 

Seriously though, God has done a tremendous work in our lives through us being here.  And though our bodies will not physically be here much longer, our support doesn't stop. Our prayers don't stop. Our sharing of what God is doing here doesn't stop! 

We are not leaving because we don't like Romania!

Many Romanians think this way.  We actually really love it here!

We are returning home because we prayed and fasted and prayed a lot more and God answered! 

He just didn't answer the way I thought He would. I thought that because that was my desire and it was a godly desire that it would happen.  

I have learned that I don't want my desires to be about what I want, I want them to be what God wants for my family!

Don't get me wrong, we believe that missions is crucial and we are all about mission work and being missionaries wherever we go.  But, the Lord has told us that for this next season we are to return to Knoxville...our local mission field. 

*TWO THINGS STICK OUT THAT I WANT TO SHARE:

1. The Lord gave me a word from the Word a couple of months ago.

"Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, 

as in obeying the voice of the Lord?

Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,

and to listen than the fat of rams."

1 Samuel 15:22

Originally we could have stayed back home and not come here.

Ignored the voice of the Lord.

We could have tried to bargain with God and just give more money, more time.

The Lord asked us to give our very lives and share them with the people in Romania.

To share what the transforming power of Christ can do to a wretched sinner like me.

He likes to make things new. He is into restoring ugly beat up things. 

He wants to bring us to repentance and sanctify us and show us that we can't earn salvation.

It's just a gift! 

So glad we obeyed!  

2. Peace

In one of the other posts I mentioned how I had a continuous desire to be a missionary, but had so many unanswered questions like, where? how long? 

I lived with guilt of feeling that I should be somewhere else doing more.  

I truly believe the Lord brought us here to grant peace.  

To assure us that we were exactly where God wanted us.  

That I can do more in Knoxville. 

Being in the states isn't any less of a mission field than Romania, Africa or India.  

The Lord has affirmed that this is not the time or place for our family to serve full term in international missions. 

I am finally at peace with that. 

I'm sad, but I have peace. 

The Lord has shown us ways in which we can serve in the local and foreign mission fields. We are excited to see what this will look like in the future. 

Right now, I am thankful for a peaceful and content heart. 

Last thing,

One of the sweet gifts God gave me was that He allowed me to be here.  It has been a blessing and joy to work with the ministry here and work alongside Robin and Aaron and the rest of the team here. They blow me away with their hard work, their commitment and their love to share the Gospel with the people here. We are going to miss it like crazy and I already feel like my heart is just being torn in two. 

No doubt, I am forever changed!

Proverbs 16:9 Part 2

If you are just tuning in you will understand better if you read yesterday's blog post.  

Where was I??  

Oh yes, six and a half years ago we thought it would be a neat idea to come help out in Romania one day.  

Well, we had two children before we ever had a chance to go to Romania.

We just wanted to go on a mission trip together and thought perhaps Romania, but maybe Africa or India. 

In November 2008, the Lord began doing some crazy things in my life. The crazy part was nothing new, but it was just different.  

I have had dreams before where I knew they were from the Lord, but it was always very sporatic. It had been a while since that had happened, but within three months I had about three or four dreams from the Lord. I would wake up in the middle of the night and know that He was trying to tell me something.

Have you ever felt like you have just heard God's voice OUT LOUD?! 

Well, that was happening... a lot!

Some neat God stories we have now to share with others, but I will spare you for now. 

In a nut shell, all of these dreams and things the Lord was telling me had to do with money.

The Lord was telling us to give it away!

My thoughts were, seriously God?  Give more money away?  We don't have much money and we still have student loans to pay off?!  This makes zero sense!?! 

Indeed, in made zero sense. But we obeyed and we were giving away money that wasn't ours in the first place! It was all HIS! We began giving money to the people the Lord told us to with a cheerful heart!

I began to realize that was probably a huge part of God's plan. 

For us to learn to be generous and cheerful giver's with our money first, because a little later (May 2009) He was going to ask us to cheerfully give up some much more important things that I love! 

Such as our house, time with family, friends, church, convenience, comfort.

I didn't know if these things would be temporary or long term. 

But we did it...we left it all cheerfully because we knew without a shadow of a doubt that GOD told us to come to Romania!

to be continued....

Proverbs 16:9 Part 1

"The heart of man plans his way, 

but the Lord establishes his steps."

~Proverbs 16:9~

In the last 24 hours we have notified all of our prayer partners and financial supporters, as well as all of the supporters of Belief in Motion about our future.  If you don't know yet, we will not be staying in Romania long term.  We had hoped to stay here until November, but we are sadly leaving early August.

I wanted to post a blog or two to give some more meat to how we came about this decision. So, if the next two or three blogs seem really self-absorbed, please know that is not the heart behind it.  It is just to make everyone aware of how we got where we are.  

************************

When I was about fifteen years old a lady by the name of Jan Davis taught me how to pray.  We were together about once a week, found in the sanctuary of our church alone, on our faces, praying and crying out to Jesus for Him to make Himself known to the people who come in that place week in and week out.  

(Before you get to thinking I am super spiritual, I will be honest. Prayer is something that I struggle with today.  I pray all throughout my day, but I don't make as much time as I should to be still and be alone with the Lord just for prayer.  I really desire to do this more and I am always reminded of how much self-discipline I lack! Ugh!)

Back to Jan....she really just took me in.  I learned so much from her and I fell in love with the Lord even more because of this woman. She really taught me how to cry out to the Lord, to trust Him with everything, to pray about anything and everything.  She taught me more about letting go and letting the Holy Spirit lead my life. I am realizing now how fortunate I was to have this Jesus Freak in my life! :)  

Jan did another thing for me. She shared her passion for missions with me.  She did this by giving me a subscription for Southern Baptist International Mission Board...for several years!  This began my long deep love for India! 

Calcutta, India to be exact.

I tore the page out of the magazine of the black and white picture of Calcutta and it hung on the outside of my closet for a few years.  I prayed for that city. 

Every. 

Single. 

Day.

I wanted to be Mother Teresa! 

I know...I am so cheesy, but it's true! 

I have always wanted to go to India and Africa and those are two places the Lord has not sent me to yet.

At sixteen I went on my first international mission trip and this started a HUGE INTENSE love and passion to spread the Gospel to all nations...and let them be glad....because of what Jesus Christ has done!

I first went to Brazil and later on Honduras and Nicaragua and Ukraine.  

Then, I went to college and most summers were spent at school or working and I didn't go on any mission trips.  I was just a local missionary in Knoxville and wherever else I went in the States. 

There had always been a continuous desire to be a missionary. I had never heard the Lord's voice as to whether this was to be an international missionary, but I was willing. And if it was to be an international missionary, I didn't now where or how long??  

I had so many unknowns!

A lot happened in between, but to hit the highlights, I married my best friend, Steve and we shockingly became parents seven months after graduating college. 

 (*Note to self: natural planning can be a little tricky. It's an art I am not skilled at! )

While Steve and I dated, were engaged and even in our marriage we tried going on several mission trips. They always fell through or something major happened, like Steve would have heart surgery or I would have a baby! 

Looking back I know it wasn't God's timing.  

The exact month we got married we got a newsletter from my children's pastor and his wife. They were now missionaries in Romania working with orphans and widows and families--right up our alley.  We both said that "one day we want to go and work with them or visit and help out."  

Do you ever say something that you want to do, but figure it is quite likely you won't?

Well, this was one of those times for us. 

 I just can't believe that right now I am typing this from Romania!  God's ways are so much better than mine!  

to be continued.....

Mural Mural on the wall.....

SO much I am always wanting to blog about and so little time.


Last week several of us worked up at the baby hospital in Marghita. We were going to fix up the dreadful room the babies are in now, but then we found out that they are renovating a new building and the opening is this Friday! The Doctor let us come in and paint several murals on the walls to make them kid friendly.  I have to say, they look pretty fine!  Much better than a plain white wall for a baby to stare at. 


Take a peek! (Note: most of my pictures were not of finished products so use your imagination a little.)

I likey!

couldn't resist

I couldn't resist posting some pictures of my kids.  Enjoy grandparents. :)

new life

Monday's for me are usually spent at home with my children.  This last Monday I joined Steve and the rest of the team and went to Cherichu & Salucea. I love it there, but usually don't go on Monday's because it is such a long day for my kids.  They were amazing though and had a lot of fun!

So glad that I did go.  Got to see so many of our new friends here in the villages.

who knew being thrown in the air could be so much fun?!

not sure what this little guy is doing...

BEST part of the day:  At Bible story time Pastor Mike told the people we just wanted to pray for them.  Right there on the side of the dusty road in the gypsy village about 15 people bent low on their knees, faces down asking for prayers.  Their needs are GREAT! 

 Just listening to what they wanted prayer for, my heart ached and all of my "needs" seemed, well, it seemed as if I had none. In reality I don't.  I have everything I could possibly imagine.  New life in Christ..forgiveness, new mercies each day, unending grace, unconditional love.  Healthy children. Healthy marriage.  The only thing I need is more of Jesus!

Their prayer requests were something like this:

Three weeks ago I lost my baby at 6.5 months pregnant.

My little boy has been taken away and I want child protection to give him back to me. 

I want my family to be healthy.  (her daughter was in the hospital recently due to vitamin deficiency)

I want to pray for salvation in Jesus!

Two women in Cherichu surrendered their lives to Christ, being assured their circumstances may not change and Jesus is enough and He will meet all of our needs!

Matthew's Place Dedication

Last week we had the property and home in Sintelec dedicated to the Lord.

Matthew's Place was given and entrusted to the ministry by the Lord and our hope and prayer is that those who visit or live here will be changed by the love and grace of Jesus Christ!

There was a husband and wife that came last week.  Their son died at the age of 17 years old due to cancer.  His name was Matthew. Once diagnosed with cancer he said to his mom, "everyone is going to be watching my life now.  I want to do my best to make Jesus known and live for him."

Matthew's Place is named in this young man's honor.  I couldn't think of a better way to leave a lasting legacy of one's own child.  I will never forget June 9th...the night this place was dedicated to the Lord! It was a sweet time of fellowship and worship and prayer!  Humbled that I even got to be there for such an event!



Group homes will be built here next so pray for the future men or children who will live here.  This is the Lord's and we want HIM to have His way with it!

Field Day

Remember Field Day??

End of the school year.

Not much school work.

Team games.

Water Balloon toss.  Potato Sack Race.  Egg and Spoon Relay.

I LOVED Field Day!

Actually, I still LOVE Field Day!

The kids at Sumugiu have never had anything like this until last week!  We gave them their very own Field Day!  We brought pizza, t-shirts and games.  It was a blast and it was priceless seeing all of those little smiles!!

These kids are so sweet and adorable!  They were cheering their team on! It was picture perfect for me!

PRECIOUS!

Gotta have Tug of War!

Then, we went on to Mierlau and did the same thing.  It was fun, but much more chaotic there as the children are not as well behaved.  It seems they only receive attention in a negative way and it's the only way they seem to know how to get it.  So we try to love them and show them positive attention and that they don't have to act out to get it.  This is hard to do some days, but we try our best to love them with the love only Christ can give.

Cassandra Update

Cassandra recently had her first surgery for her cleft palate.  I saw her two weeks ago and got to take her for a walk outside and play.  She seemed to be doing great and happy. Nurses weren't sure when the second surgery would be.

Last week when I went she was gone and had already had the second surgery!! WOO HOO!!  We have heard from the doctor and she is doing great.  She should be there when I go to visit this Friday.

Doctors had said that when her mother abandoned her it was because she didn't like her cleft palate and that she wanted her back when it was fixed.  She probably wasn't expecting it to take two years, but I don't think it really bothered her.

Her mother was there a few weeks ago to give birth to a baby boy. Dr's showed her Cassandra and told her that her other surgery would be done soon and she could take her home. She had other plans and left with the baby boy, only to abandon him at the baby hospital in Oradea.  She does not seem to have that natural love that most moms do.

A few days after that she returned to Cassandra's hospital in Marghita and handed the Dr. all of Cassandra's paperwork and birth certificate.  She doesn't want her.  My heart breaks for this little one.  She should not be left alone in a crib all day.  She should have a family.  Please pray for someone to take this little girl in and love her and make her a part of their family.

Significant Summer

My friend Becky has a great blog!  About a month ago she encouraged others to have goals for themselves and for their children this summer and to make it a significant time!  She shared her goals and encouraged others to make their own.

A couple of weeks ago I sat down to prayerfully consider some goals for myself and my family.  It is always easier to pray about goals and write the list, but putting them into practice can be much more difficult.

We are two weeks in to our goals and for the most part it's going well.  Here is what we've got going on so far.

1. Each morning I am doing a devotion with the kids. We are using Training Hearts Teaching Minds.  I am loving it!  It consists of six devotions a week that are super short, focus on one scripture and each week devotions are about a question from the Shorter Catechism. Noah is really getting it.  I can ask him, "what is our primary purpose."  He knows and will say, "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

2.  Each night as part of our family devotion we all work through the kids Truth and Grace Memory Book.  This is teaching them the Shorter Catechism and the devotion we do in the morning helps reiterate the point.  

3.  Scripture memory: Steve and I are being more intentional about memorizing one Scripture a week and the kids, especially Noah is learning about three verses a week.  

4. Date Night: Steve and I wanted to make a point to try and plan one at home date night a week.  We would take turns planning with games or dinner/dessert, movie, etc.  We have really slacked in this area as we are usually exhausted by the time our kids go to bed.  Hoping to do better in this area. 

5. Physical Activity:  Right now I have only been exercising about twice a week...going for runs. I really want to do more and need to make a better effort to do this.  

6. Family Day: Saturday is family day!!  This has been a fun day for the whole family.  Whatever we do we just do it together and have fun!  We're also trying to have some one on one time with each child at least once a month.  It may be simple, like taking them to the store alone or going for a walk. Whatever it is we just want them to know they are special and loved and give them some one on one time.

Aside from our goals, this summer is especially significant because of the place God has put our family in.  We are all learning so much by being able to serve people here in Romania.  Jesus has already made our lives so significant and it has been a blast following Him where He leads.  My kids are learning several things by being here that I could not have taught them at home to the extent to which they are learning them here.  Not only are they learning these things, but I am learning and being transformed, ever so slowly!  

What are some ways you are making your summer significant??

Cassandra's recovery

We have been given opportunity to work in an abandoned baby hospital.  Cassandra is a little girl who is almost two years old and has been there her entire life. Her mother didn't want her because she has a cleft palate that needs surgery.

Well, last week she received one of two surgeries.  The first surgery was on the outside of her mouth and it closed up the huge gap from her lip to her nose.  When this heals they will try and schedule the next surgery for the inside of the mouth.  Please pray for this surgery to be scheduled as soon as possible so she can begin to eat regular food and not just milk.  It will also help her speech development and stop much of the drooling.

I went yesterday to visit her.  Robin hired a nurse to care for her for the next four days with 24 hour care.  My favorite nurse there is the one caring for her. My heart was so happy to see this woman and to know it was her who would be looking after Cassandra.

I was able to take Cassandra outside for a walk and just play with her.  It was so great to make her laugh and hug on her and sing to her.  Please pray for this little one!  I want her to have a family that will love her with the love of Christ.  Her mom says she wants her back when the surgeries are all done, but the nurse said her mother is not a good mom.  Perhaps this will be a way to share Jesus with Cassandra's mother and help her.

I will be going once a week to help take care of the babies there. Yesterday there was only one other baby there.  A two month old that has to be a premie. It has the tiniest head I have ever seen and looks sickly.  Pray for her too.

Children's Day

June 1st is Children's Day.  The children of Romania have been celebrated on this day since 1925.

The teachers at the school in Sumugiu invited our family to come to the school on Wednesday to celebrate the children with them.  I am so glad that we didn't miss it!  It was so fun to be able to support them and celebrate them.  It seems we are starting to get to know these kids better and better the more we go.  I am excited to get to spend more time with them this summer.

Here are some snap shots of the day....

we brought balloons and visors for the kiddos

 reciting poems & singing songs

playing games

cake

Yani gets a celebration

There is a lady at the Maternity Center who has three children.  The oldest is Yani.  On Tuesday he turned five years old.  The week before his mother shared with me that she had never celebrated him before.

Think about all of the birthday celebrations you have had.  Family gathers together, they give you gifts, you all have cake and ice cream and on that day YOU are celebrated.  You know that someone is happy you are alive and that you are their friend, sister, daughter, son, husband, etc.  It feels good doesn't it?

Well, this little guy had never had a birthday party and I was determined to make sure he had one this year!

We bought him a remote control car and soccer ball. He got bubbles and play-doh and there were definitely party hats and cake!  I brought my entire family and the mom told the dad to come as well.  Yani had his entire family there, plus all the other women at the Maternity Center and our family there to celebrate him.

As we began to sing "La Multi Ani" to Yani, tears just poured down this little guys face.  Actually, not just tears, he was sobbing out loud.  I don't think he even knew why he was crying, but he was very emotional.  It was as if he didn't know what to do with all of the attention and he was not used to it.

It was fun for Noah and Paige to get to play with him.  They just start playing together like they have known each other forever.

Happy Birthday Yani!

cp2

Well, the first mission trip of the summer arrived Saturday night.  Sunday afternoon we all went to the orphanage for the late afternoon.

SO many new children there between the ages of two years and seven years old.  My heart just breaks.

The parents of some didn't want to leave them there, but they knew that at the orphanage they would have food to eat.  Seriously, they just needed some food? I know that's not all they needed, but it's a large part of it.

 I fear for their future.  All I can do is pray for them and love on them when we go.

I know that children can come from a home with two loving, God-fearing parents, be trained up in the way he should go by following the Lord, memorizing Scripture and hiding it in his/her heart, be very involved in church and then grow up and their actions not line up with the Bible at all.  Their hearts seem to be so far from God. I have seen this SO many times.  Heart breaking, but it just proves that most of the time we love our flesh more.

In the same way I know that children can be abandoned and left at an orphanage, never hear the words "i love you" from a mother or father, experience all kinds of abuse, never memorize a verse from the Bible, not attend church, not have a right understanding of who Jesus is...and then.....GOD changes them.  Maybe He uses someone, like me or you, to plant some seeds of God's word in their lives....to love them right where they are.

I cling to the hope that just because their life seems so bleak and painful to me, that God's love and grace is so much greater than all of our sin combined.  If He can restore the man named "Legion" (remember that story in the Gospels??), then I am pretty sure He can transform any of our lives!

God's love is unconditional!  Though so many of these orphans seem to not have a future and seem so far from God, I know that our outward circumstances do not always determine our eternity.

Please take a minute to pray for the orphans here.  They range from two years old to in their twenties (and the older ones still desire a family, why wouldn't they?)

THANKS!

what's going on in my brain

So much to catch up on.

It is hard taking the time to write down on my thoughts because time to do this is hard to come by.  Really, you don't want to know all of my thoughts. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place these days.   Daily I am trying to process everything I see, why the culture is the way it is, why I am the way I am as an American, what is the best way to reach these people for Jesus, how can I help?

I just feel like I really have nothing to bring to the table.  Nothing I am really great at.  But, the Lord seems to take this life that He has transformed and just lets me love on other people. That is really all I have going for me--Jesus!  All I can offer Him is my life--my time, my energy and He takes it and turns it into much for His glory--a lot like the fish and loaves that fed thousands and then had 12 leftover baskets!!  At the end of the day I feel like I am carrying home 12 baskets of leftover goodness!  At the end of each day, usually, I am filled with SO MUCH JOY!!!  Joy at the gift of being here, joy of being able to share Jesus in so many different ways that, to me seem so small, but to some here it means more than we can imagine.

Don't get me wrong, most days I am also filled with a huge amount of sadness as I see people who have no food in their homes, marriages falling apart, abuse, children who have never had a birthday celebration in their small five years of life, abandoned babies who no one seems to truly care for.

Yet, I can't help but be so hopeful and excited about the future for some of these people here and for the ministry of Project 127.  Feeling really grateful to be a tiny tiny part of it all.

I have a lot to catch up on...check back soon!