Re-think Gift Giving

Christmas season is upon us and so is the desire to SHOP!

Christmas gets a little crazy for some of us, but I have always desired a very simple Christmas and focus on what really matters. 

Each year that desire gets greater and greater and each year we desire to get less and less for our children.  We want to get a lot of things for them, but the truth is that they receive things all year long from us. 

The truth is they are in need of NOTHING!

Steve and I are really trying to RE-THINK gift giving.  

This year the kids are getting two gifts from us and a gift from each other. 

Simple. 

I likey! 

It takes the focus off of us GETTING and allows us to focus on GIVING!

This year we are wanting to help those in Romania who are in desperate need and in pure poverty!  When I say our kids are in need of nothing, I mean NOTHING! I bet your kids don't need a thing either!  But, I actually KNOW people who need a window to keep a 20x20 house warm for four small girls and they need a new door. Their door and window are both broken and it is cold outside!  

I actually know many many friends in Romania who need shoes this winter.  

I know so many people who could use bread and food because as we speak their cupboards are BARE. They aren't quite sure where the next meal is coming from.  

There are so many things we can do to truly make a difference and change someone's life!  From buying a goat for someone, or shoes/boots, or helping buy a new window and door to keep them warm.  

We have SO MUCH! Our money isn't our money. It comes from our Faithful Provider who has given us more than we need so we can bless others.  

So my challenge to you is this....

What if you forego getting each of your children even just ONE gift LESS this year?  

What if you used that money to GIVE AWAY to someone who was truly in need? 

WORSHIP!  

"It is better to give than to receive."  We like to say it, but do we believe it? Do we practice it? 

When you go to make your grocery list for your Christmas feast, try to sacrifice even one thing so that you can help feed those who have nothing to eat. 

When you go to do your Christmas shopping remember how full your children's closets already are and choose to buy LESS so that you can help others and possibly help there be ONE LESS hungry or ONE LESS orphan or ONE LESS abandoned or ONE LESS shoeless child!

Please visit http://www.beliefinmotion.org/Pages/MakeADonation.aspx to find so many ways to give!  Or e-mail me at vanhornfam05@gmail.com if you want to help!

We lived here for 7 months and worked with these missionaries and know they are legit! They give of themselves daily to spread the Gospel and make Jesus Christ known!  

our heaviest loss thus far

Exactly seven days ago I excitedly typed up a little post and tried to slyly reveal that we were expecting our third baby.

Now seven days later I write to you regretting that I ever wrote that last post.  Because three days later I went into very premature labor....water breaking, contractions....followed by more blood than I have ever seen in my entire life.

The Lord saw it best to take our sweet Scout home.  He does all things for our good, but this didn't feel good.

This doesn't feel good.

As I type my stomach is in knots and my eyes are filled with tears.  We had already began dreaming and imagining our life with this little one.  We couldn't have been more excited and neither could our children.

But, on Friday night as Steve and I sat in the emergency room looking at what remained of our baby on an ultrasound picture and wondering how we explain this to Noah and Paige.  I couldn't help but say that this is a great opportunity to teach our children that God is constant and He is always good. Always.
Even when it doesn't feel good or look good or makes us angry and sad.  That's okay. But He is still good. He will never change.

God has reminded me that I am not in control of one ounce of my life.

"For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things and in Him all things hold together."  ~Colossians 1:16-17

God has also reminded me that this child was never really mine. God allowed me to carry this baby and care for it as best as I could for three short months, but that little life was always His.

And Heaven is all our little Scout will ever know!

So, if you are hurting and feeling hollow...remember that all we have are God's promises & truths found in His holy Word and that is all we really need--He is more than enough!

it's been a while...

Hey stranger!

I haven't been on here in a looonnnnggggg time! I just saw that my last blog post was about two months ago, almost to the day.  A lot has changed for us in the last couple of months.

Noah started kindergarten at a home school co-op that is a University Model and I got a new very part time job as a teacher at his school.  Paige is in pre-school there in my class.  And there is a three month old human growing in my belly causing me to, at times feel sick, but mostly just tired.  I have slept a lot the last couple of months.  I am starting to feel a little more "normal" and think I will begin blogging again, at least for a few more months. I kinda miss it.

I'll write more soon. :)

more cancer?

The laundry room was flooded in soiled clothes and towels.  I hadn't been in that room all weekend and it showed.  The children were all tucked in bed and the only sound I could now hear was the rushing of water filling up the washing machine.

My husband leaned against the door frame as I sorted through darks, whites, towels.

"What did she say?"

"It's not good," he told me.

"Is it her or her husband."

"Her."

"Well, what is it?" I said, knowing that it was something deadly.

"Pancreatic Cancer."

There it was. That feeling when your heart just sinks in your stomach and your gut feels sick and your heart aches.  Tear-filled eyes, loving this woman in our church and feeling guilty that I had not seen her in a month and yet I had not even called to check in on her.  Now I know why I hadn't seen her.

That nasty C-word!


Cancer.


Right now, I just know too many people, young and old, mothers and sons, who are battling cancer. Some will die from their cancer and some will not.  Regardless, even this cancer is from the hand of God.  I have to remember that what satan intends for bad, God makes for good. 


His good and their good...our good!  His good is our good.  


Each time we discover a friend has cancer we are shocked, but God is never surprised. He knows everything about our friends and He allowed this to happen.

"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail." ~Luke 22:31

We shall be sifted, whether it be cancer or burying a child or the loss of a job or divorce or depression.  Jesus didn't say He would prevent satan from sifting us. He said that He has prayed for us during this sifting that our faith may NOT fail!


He will keep us.

Don't be deceived in thinking that when hard times come, God has forsaken you.  He knows it. He allowed it. He wants to see you cling to Him in your darkest moments, remembering our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

He brings restoration

The house is quiet at 6:14am.

Everyone is asleep.

I have been awake for three hours. My body thinking it is in the middle of the day still because three days ago during this hour it was.

The Lord is good and faithful and allowed me to return to Romania for one week.

One week.

It's almost a tease; but I am thankful for this one week.

The Lord can do a lot in one's heart in a week. For me this one week offered healing that I desperately needed.  The Lord made sense of things for me that hadn't made sense in ten months.  I don't know how to explain it all, but I will try.

If you know our story then you know that last August we returned from Romania, but not because I wanted to.  I returned because my husband believed the Lord wanted to use us here.  I returned with him out of submission.  Not too much later what I feared happened.  I became a little resentful and a little angry. Feeling as if I had to compromise what I felt the Lord leading me to do eleven years before.

Things are different now then they were eleven years ago. I am a wife and a mother and life is different.
How does what God told me 11 years ago about missions fit with my life now?

Well, over the last six weeks God has been healing my heart. Taking away resentment and anger and making sense of it all in my head and in my heart.  It started with an apology and a much needed conversation that my husband initiated.  There are a lot of personal details that don't belong on a blog, but all I need to say is that this was step #1 to me accepting where God has placed us and giving up my dreams and trying to see a glimpse of God's bigger picture....and forgiveness.   O, how important it is to forgive and be forgiven.

Emptying myself, dying to my dreams, so that I can live fully to the glory of God.

Steve, thank you for this conversation that we needed!  Thank you for leading us well!  You were never "the bad guy" because we left Romania and I knew that all along.  Thank you for having honest conversations with me over the last ten months and being so very patient with me.

Before leaving for Romania a little over a week ago the Lord just told me that Steve's passion for pastoring and North Knox and my passion for missions do not have to be in conflict with each other.  That God can combine our passions for maximum effectiveness in spreading the Gospel locally and globally.

Sounds like common sense doesn't it?

Well, this was earth-shattering news to me!  It has changed everything. My heart attitude, my perspective, expectations.  And it was delivered at a perfect time.  Just days before I left for Romania.

While in Romania a friend was there who also felt the Lord leading her into missions around the same time as me.  We both have married since then and we didn't marry an international missionary.  We had a chance to stay up late one night talking and sharing about our experiences and what God has taught us.

How we both have had moments where we wondered where we had gone wrong?  Did we disobey God?  Did we marry the wrong person?

God has shown me that these are doubts and thoughts that satan wants me to have. I didn't disobey and I definitely didn't marry the wrong person.

My vision was very narrow.  I had tunnel vision where I believed that if I was going to be in missions then that meant I was going to live in a little hut in Calcutta, India forever amongst the people in a tiny village.

Eleven years later and God is showing me that he planned it perfectly for Steve and I to be in ministry together, with combined passions of pastoring and missions.

Perhaps we can support missions better by motivating and teaching an entire church campus the importance of missions!?!  By leading teams over to help teach the people the Word of God and encourage and love on missionaries in Romania!?!  Maybe we can help more this way!?!


My vision was just too narrow.

I am reminded that God's ways are higher and bigger than our own.  And I am reminded that we can make plans, but it is God who directs our steps.  Thankfully!

This trip was perfect in timing and God knew it.
This trip has brought healing, forgiveness, wiping away of resentment and frustration.
This trip has brought excitement, not only on my part, but Steve seems the most excited about helping in Romania than ever before. He is ready to get over there.
This trip has brought closure in a sense to me.  Closure to a season of hurt and questioning and doubt.  Closure to a season of grieving.
It probably doesn't make sense to anyone reading this, but not staying in Romania has seriously been a grieving process for me. It was a death to my dreams and it has taken a long time to get over it. That may sound so silly and juvenile, but this is where my heart has been.

I can honestly say that the grieving is over.  There is excitement, there is joy, there is hope for the future.

Only God can do this for us!

There is a lot more that came out of this trip, but I wanted to blog about what God has done in my heart!
So often we go on mission trips to help people, but we are the ones most effected and changed.  I knew that God was going to do this for me. I knew it!

It makes me think of this song:

You take our mourning, turn it into dancing.
You take our weeping, turn it into laughing. 
You take our mourning, turn it into dancing.
You take our sadness, turn it into joy.
You bring restoration.
You bring restoration.
You bring restoration, to my soul.


This is my prayer for the people of Romania and North Knoxville!

my second home

In three short days I will return to a place I wish was my second home.  You know how some folks have a house or two on the coast, one in Europe, etc.  If I could do that my home away from home would be in a village in Romania!

Even now I wish I could live part of the year in the States and part of the year in Romania.  Maybe one day we will.  

In three days I cross the ocean again and on the fourth day I will finally arrive to Romania.

I woke up with butterflies this morning I am so excited.

I get to stay at Matthew's Place and see the finished product. 

The place my sweet husband served three days a week.  His most favorite things, 

building and sweating and digging with Aaron and the other men.  

Laying a foundation for a home that would hopefully lay a foundation in the heart of so

many orphaned boys... a foundation of a hope and a future in Jesus Christ!

We can't describe to you the joy we have that we got to be a small part of all of this!

That Steve got to be a part of something for the Kingdom of God that will go on and on 

for generations of orphaned boys becoming men of God!  We pray!!!

The purpose of this trip is with different eyes.  

We are now back in Knoxville, but can't shake this ministry, these people out of our hearts and minds. 

Often, we talk of what we can do and how we can help them even while here in Knoxville. 

We are now starting a church campus of Fellowship Church out in North Knoxville area. 

Fellowship has four focus areas for missions. We are praying for Romania to be the missions focus area for the North Campus.  There are two villages in particular that we are visiting more and praying about investing in long term: Salucea and Rontau. 

I have a soft spot for Salucea. The family we support lives there and we spent a lot of our time there last year.  I have already felt a pull to Salucea being the village, but I want to have clarity and discernment from the Lord about where!  

Will you please pray with us about this?!!  

We want to do the Father's will, not our own!

This morning I received an email from the missionaries there and Aaron went today

to buy a house in Salucea!!! Robin said she would give me all the God details when I get there!

I can hardly wait!  God is such a faithful Provider! 

We may have a house to stay in! How crazy would that be!!??!!

Please pray for the four of us:

Jennifer Wilson

Jessica Geist

Justin Geist

Cali VanHorn

Pray for our families and especially my two children and Jennifer's two boys and our husbands while we are away. 

Please pray for:

-protection from the enemy

-safety in all travel

-pilots to be awake and alert while flying

-physical health--that no one would get sick

-that we would adjust to the time change quickly

-wisdom and discernment from the Holy Spirit on which village 

we are to invest in long term and in what ways

-the Gospel to shared and heard very clearly and for many to 

believe

-pray for our children and families

-missionaries

i could post a thousand pictures more, but i will stop. :)

HIs Presence is Enough

Yesterday morning, standing in sea of chairs, I am silent....I am watching.

Hundreds are singing words about how the presence of God is all I want, all I seek because without it, without it I have nothing.  The presence of God is all that I long for because without it, life has no meaning.

Do I really live like that?  Ouch!  Not every moment of every day, I now that for sure.

My eyes scanned around the rows in front of me and to my sides.  What I saw?

An elderly gentleman sitting at the head of the row, cane in his left hand and his right hand raised in praise to his Lord.  He couldn't even stand up next to his wife because he lacked physical strength, but so much spiritual strength.  He sang these words of longing for God's presence and he had a huge smile on his face.  It seemed he had learned over many years how true these words were.

I saw mothers raising a hand in worship, while the other hand wrapped around her children's necks. No daddy present with them.  Mommy showing them the way to the Father.  Showing them to worship in spirit and truth and her longing for His presence..desperate for God to bring transformation.

I saw others who though they looked fine on the outside, I know they are battling cancer. Others whose friends son just found out cancer is all over that twelve year old body and only God knows when and how and what.

They all still were praising HIM! The One who knows all the in's and out's. The One who allows tragedy and blessing, who gives and takes away, the One who loves unconditionally and whose compassion never runs dry. He allows things to happen that we don't understand why. His ways are so much higher than mine and I am thankful!

Oh, I want to live like this every moment of every day. Knowing that He is enough. Life is meaningless without Him.  We literally have nothing if we don't have Jesus!

giving yourself away

Jovie, my female rabbit, just gave birth to a litter of six on Sunday evening.  We thought she wasn't due for four more days so when we walked out to feed and saw a nesting box lined with fur we were shocked and super excited!

This is the first time I have ever had rabbits so I didn't know what all happened when they gave birth, but I have learned that it is quite a neat and efficient way God created these little creatures to handle this process.

Right before delivering the babies the mommy rabbit pulls tons, I mean tons, of fur out of her very own belly.

We then gave her soft hay and she took it and made a little nest in her nesting box with that too.

And then, she pulled even more fur out to top that off.

Why?

Because this is how the babies will keep warm.  These little ones that are totally dependent on her for safety and survival.  She knows she has to care for them; and how else will she do it, but by giving herself away for them?!  Pulling out the best of herself to make a soft bed and blanket for them to sleep and gain strength.

In her most painful laboring moment, she is giving herself away.

As I watch her belly contract and hear a bunny plop into that soft nest she made I marvel at how it is when we give the best of our selves, we are given life too!

It may have been hard and she had to be in pain, but after the hurt and after the giving away, there is life and she is rewarded with six babies.

How good it is to give ourselves away--for the sake of the Gospel and for the sake of God being glorified!  We give ourselves away everyday around here.  So that children are fed, to teach our little ones the way of the Father, so that those in our community may know God, so that we may know the deep love of the Father, to feed a family that lives 6,000 miles away from us and so we can go and share the good news with them!

We are convinced that it is very life-giving to give our very lives away for the sake of Jesus Christ! 

If you are a Christian and you are wandering why you should give your life away I want to share this with you.

"...because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ~Romans 5:5

"but when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior."
~Titus 3:4-6

God gave His very best, His only Son, Jesus, for you and for me.  While we were enemies of His, floundering in our sin and loving it, He came down and dwelt with us! He came to save us because He knew there was nothing good in us and that we couldn't save ourselves.  He lavished us with grace and His kindness leads us to repentance.

Through Him giving away His life thru a scandalous and humiliating death on the cross, we can have life to the full!


In 2 Timothy 4:6 Paul talks about his life being poured out like a drink offering.  If we are in Christ our lives ought to be being poured out as a sweet offering to Jesus every moment of everyday in hopes of bringing the hope of new life to those around us.  He is worth our very lives and our time and all our energy.

New Office for North Knox

Today Steve and Michael move in to their NEW office space in Fountain City!! :)  They will be moving all week and transition from working at the west campus to the North!

Next: find a meeting place for church on Sunday's in the N. Knox area.  Please join us in praying for this space. That Steve and Michael would have wisdom and clarity, discernment from the Holy Spirit about where this will be.  Also, that it would be very affordable.

Back in April when we went to the church planting conference there was a time for those who were church planting to go to a map and press their thumb in ink and mark on the map where their church would be.  We did this with the Thomas' and it was a neat time to just seal it and confirm together that this is the Lord's church and this is the place we believe we are to spread the Gospel day in and day out.

It made me think of times in the OT where kings had a seal in their signet ring and they would put it on important documents or when rules were made.  When it had dried there was their seal--their signet--that was theirs and no one could change it! Well, we didn't have our very own signet ring, but we had our very own fingerprint right on Knoxville. A city that God has drawn our hearts to love.  To love all these 100,000+ folks in North Knoxville who don't have a church community and may not have heard the truth of the Gospel just yet.

I was thinking about how God has sealed us with His Spirit. A year and a half ago I blogged while canning jam about the Holy Spirit and how we are sealed with Him and no one can snatch us from the Lord's hands!  I was reminded of that and how His seal is permanent and irrevocable!  Once we admit that we are sinners and need the mercy and kindness and salvation only found through faith in Jesus Christ we are redeemed from ourselves and from the stronghold of sin!  NO ONE or NOTHING can snatch us out of the hands of our great God.

We are saved by grace.

Our community groups are growing! Fountain City group is busting. Steve and I are praying and hoping to start a community group in our home this fall. Hopefully we will have four groups meeting in homes throughout the week by September.  Only God knows...but we are trusting and excited!

Update Prayer Request

A week or two ago I asked you all to pray for a friend, Kim Tisdale, and her family as she recently discovered she has brain cancer.  Next Tuesday she and her husband will travel to Duke for another surgery, unless of course the Lord has already removed them by His power and the power of prayer of the saints.  She will be there for two weeks if she does need a second surgery.  After this there will be chemo and numerous consecutive days of radiation. Here are some prayer requests:

-pray for their son who will not be with them, that he will be joyful, be able to sleep and have a great time with his grandparents
-pray for Kim as she will be awake during this second brain surgery; that she would remain calm
-for the doctor's to have the utmost wisdom and to know when to say they can do no more and need to stop; pray for God to give them VERY STEADY hands as dealing with the brain, one slightly wrong move can do a lot of damage
-pray for Kim and Michael that they will be joyful and not lonely as none of their friends and family will be there to visit them
-pray for her head to not swell as much as it did last time and for her to be able to get much needed rest


Those are a lot of specifics.  Please pray as they will travel on Tuesday. Keep them in your mind and pray!

Kim's outlook on life and her relationship with Christ has changed over the last 6 weeks because she knows she has brain cancer.  Small things are now sweet big things to rejoice in.  Just because we don't know that we have cancer doesn't mean we will live for another day, another year or another decade.  Her life has made me so mindful of how our life is a vapor.  Rejoice in today!  I want to live like I don't have many more earthly days.  It makes you live so differently!

In every season He is still God and we have a reason to sing!

North Knox Blog is up and running!!!

Just wanted to share the site for the North Knoxville Campus blog.  Check it out!  Join us!  You can also see Michael Thomas' sermon that he preached at Fellowship this past Sunday!  Makes me excited about the future! :)

northknoxville.fefc.com

One of these days I will learn how to embed it so you can see the picture of it. If only my husband were here.....sorry I am inept!

Happy Mother's Day 2012

This morning my sweet little Noah asks, "Mommy, what would be the best gift for you today?"

I reply, "I would just love some time to snuggle with you and be with you. Can we do that?"

Noah, "sure. How about we learn about tigers together?!"

Paige, "How about you watch a movie with me? How about Barney?! Yes, Barney!"  (not really a  question, more of a statement)

Steve and I laughed as we realized how sly they were.  They wanted to give me the best gift I could possibly want, but it turned out to be what they wanted!

How many times do we do this with God?

God I want to help the poor and needy, but how about I only give 1%?

God I want to reach out to my neighbor, but how about I wait until they pursue me?

God I need to apologize to my husband for ____, but he is so stubborn, I think he should apologize first?!

We tell Him things we want to do or recognize we should do, but how about my way? Or in my timing?

Now, I know my kids weren't intentionally doing this specific thing.  It just made me laugh, first of all, and then it made me think how this is so true of myself and possibly you.

It made me more aware of the importance of listening to His voice clearly or waiting to hear from Him  on how to go about certain situations and not pushing my own agenda and believing that is what God wants.

What does God want of me? What does He require?  What does it look like for me to desire what God desires of me?

Just a few questions to ponder this afternoon.



Back to Mother's Day....

All I want to do today is snuggle and learn about tigers with Noah and then watch Barney with Paige.  I want to soak up as much time with my kids as possible.

Being a mother is such a gracious gift that so many I know are not able to experience today.  Many women are heartbroken over infertility and miscarriages and today I pray that God would strengthen you and comfort you and that you would find someone to walk with you through this time!  I do not take it lightly that I have been entrusted with two beautiful, healthy and hilarious children!

Life really is a vapor and we are not promised tomorrow.  Find joy today in time with family and rest in Him!

Happy Mother's Day!

Beach Teachings

Can anyone help me find April?? I seemed to have misplaced it!

Does anyone feel this way?  We are halfway through May! What happened to April!  I am trying to play catch up here as I haven't blogged in a while and a lot of LIFE has happened!

I want to back up to around April 18th.  Our family set out for the beach for a few days. My cousin was getting married on the beach and we decided to make  a little vacation out of it.

{Sidenote: can more of my friends and family get married on the beach please?! It is just too fun and I do love me some ocean! Thank you.}

A couple of weeks before we left I found out that, thanks to my Mom (my grandmother) and my cousin our little family got to stay at a condo on the beach...FOR FREE! I just love it when loved ones have connections.

I was giddy!

This is how the VanHorn's feel about staying at the beach....

I love the ocean and to get to stay on it for four nights for free....I'm all in!

It was rough people. {said with much sarcasm} As I scrambled eggs and toasted bagels with sliding doors wide open I got to watch and listen to this--

We got to eat every meal here--

When it was time for bed this is what we watched--

I could get used to that!  

We arrived at 5:30pm and as soon as we got in the condo Paige put on her swimsuit, grabbed a cookie and headed outside. I like the way she thinks!  However, upon arriving at the edge of the ocean she wasn't so sure.

It was giant. She couldn't see the end of the other side of the ocean anywhere. It just went on and on.

And it was loud!  The crashing of the waves. It might just swallow her up and take her out to the deep.

But, she was curious. She wanted to go in, but not alone.

She ran to daddy and asked him to carry her in. She wanted to feel the water and step into it, but didn't feel safe to go alone.  She needed daddy to carry her because she knew he could withstand the waves.  He was tall enough to not get swallowed up in the ocean.  He wasn't afraid of the loud crashing waves or the fact that the ocean looked larger than life.

As I watched all of this happening and snapping photos of them in the ocean the Holy Spirit said, "This is what faith looks like. This is what trust looks like."

There may be times when we want to do things for the Lord or times when GOD tells us to do something.  Oh, we want to be obedient. We want to be faithful, but we are scared silly.

We can't see an end in sight.

The task seems huge and daunting.

There are lots of voices saying different things and our own flesh gets in the way and it's loud!

We must know that our Father is the only One we are to run to. We must ask Him to hold on to us tight and walk us in the deep. Because, really, we do want to drink deep of HIM! We want to go to deep places with Him and for Him! But, we can't go without Him!

He is strong enough to withstand the deep crashing waters.
He created those very waters that may seem to be crashing around you!

Remember that He is constant and stable.  The sustainer of our souls.  He can be trusted. He is faithful and true!

Urgent Prayer Request

Please be in prayer for the Tisdale family, a member of our Fountain City group.  Kim was just diagnosed with brain cancer and will start chemo and radiation in the next couple of weeks.

Please pray for:

*High Blood Count
*Supernatural strength so she can continue to homeschool Hunter (8) and be wife to Michael
*Michael to be steadfast and loving during a very trying time
*Hunter to trust God and know he can go to God in any time of need
*Spiritual strength for their entire family (parents included)

Kim is a fighter and last night as she shared with our "congregation" in the Ellis' home, I was in awe of her strength!  She told the entire journey over the last month without a tear, but I think everyone else was crying or wanted to.  I know this has been an emotional time for them and there will be more of those days, but as Kim said, "the Lord is my Banner."

Satan can sift them, but he can't take their faith away from them.  No one can pluck them out of HIS right hand!

Christ is our ONLY HOPE! For all of us! Christ is our ONLY HOPE!  No matter how much despair we feel, no matter how far away from the Lord we have travelled, no matter how strong or good we are on our own....our only hope is found in Jesus!

Please pray for this sweet family!  They are giving every ounce of glory to God throughout this process and it is a giant faith builder for me!

*Side note: last night was the first night where we had all of the community groups come together. Two of the four were there and it was neat to get a small glimpse of what our "church" may look like in the very near future! :)

Now go pray! :)

Reason 3, 586 on why i love being a parent

You just find the darndest things....

Easter in the forest

We don't have set Easter traditions thus far.  I imagine that next year we will start some new Easter traditions.  I got lots of ideas this year for some great lifelong Easter traditions to really bring the Bible alive in our lives and our home and most importantly, remember Him!


I hadn't seen my family in three months and was desperate to spend some time with them.  We were invited to spend Easter with them at the Chatahoochee National Forest and camp....with no electricity....for an entire weekend.  Thank the Lord for generators....I got one hot shower in!

We just love to camp! It is so much work, but it is so fun and peaceful and it makes you take a break from everything else and just be quiet and be among nature.  It forces us outdoors and I do love being outside!

We were right on Tallulah River and it was rushing and it sounded like pouring rain and I loved it!

Tallulah River is stocked with Trout fish and thanks to GiGi and Pop, Noah had a spiderman fishing pole awaiting him when we arrived.

Don't knock Spiderman fishing poles because with this awesome piece of machinery (and garlic flavored salmon eggs) Noah caught this...

Paige was so proud

Uncle David teaching Noah how to clean

and skin a fish

Noah watching his fish being fried up

Within 15 minutes Noah had caught, skinned, cleaned, fried, de-boned 

and eaten his trout fish.

It doesn't get any fresher than that!

Paige collected rocks and made sure everyone else had 

a rock collection before they left.

Happy Easter!

the cutest soccer player ever...

{This is mainly for my memory and for all of Noah's grandparents viewing pleasure; however, whoever lays eyes on this post will be so in love with the cutest soccer player ever...guaranteed!}

Noah will tell you he is so good at soccer and learned everything he knows while in Romania

he is super confident

he just kicked the ball so hard...that you can't even see it. It flew across the field faster than I could snap a shot

Dad is his coach :)

Noah (center) playing in his first official game

completely adorable with his little mud stained knee

that still small voice

Alrighty, a few years ago the Lord was speaking to me in some crazy ways.  Dreams...several dreams that I knew were from Him.  Other times it was like I heard Him say something out loud to me. I remember waking up one night and looking around. I woke Steve up and asked if he had heard that. He had not.  I knew it was God. I just knew it!

Does this happen to you?

Has this ever happened to you?

If so, please share...cause these God stories are so worth sharing!

Well, I heard this Lord's voice again about a month ago.

This time it was small. It was still. It was more "internal."

I love that He can speak things to us in so many different ways.  It doesn't make one thing He tells us more important, it's just different.

Well, Steve and I thought we weren't going to be able to go to Romania this year.

Sadness filled us.  We wanted at least one of us to go to visit and encourage the missionaries there, to see the family we sponsor, to go and love on so many that we built relationships with last year. We just thought financially we couldn't do it and we are still paying off school and really want that debt gone.

About two weeks later this young married couple in our community group on Sunday morning texted me saying they really wanted to go with me to Romania and if I decided to go this year to please let them know.  I wrote back telling them we couldn't go this year, but that they could still go and I could get them some information.

As soon as I sent that text the Holy Spirit said, "you can't go because of finances?  Have you forgotten what I have done in the past? Have you forgotten that I am your Faithful Provider?  These people matter.  This trip matters. You need to go to Romania. Don't shut this door!"

I remember hearing this as I walked through my kitchen.

So Steve and I talked and I just kept thinking, well, I am going to Romania and I have no idea how I am going to do this. Lots of fundraising.

Fundraising. It can be fun, but it can be daunting.  I hate fundraising, basically because we have done so much of it. At this moment in our lives, specifically this spring, live is just full and I felt overwhelmed at the thought of fundraising. None the less, it must be done.

But, then....

Yesterday...

I found out that my ticket is paid for ....

IN FULL!

The young married couple going with me....

HALF of their tickets are paid for!

The Lord is our Faithful Provider!

Listen to Him today.  We must be so sensitive to what the Spirit tells us to do!

I can't help but wonder what God is going to do during this time in Romania this year. He made it so evident that I was to go and then He made it so possible for that to happen.

Thank you Lord!

*You can pray for this trip which will happen around June 29th-July9th*

FIRST Core Leadership Team Meeting

Here's an update on North Knoxville Campus of Fellowship Church.

We have a missional community group in Fountain City and another one that started about 6 weeks ago in Powell.  We also have two small groups gone missional in North Knox.

Out of those groups we have asked some couples to consider being on a core leadership team. We have 2-4 couples per group representing that group depending on the size.  This past Sunday, March 25th, was our first meeting!!  Some are not 100% committed and that is okay, but we wanted them to come so we could explain our expectations of them and how this is helping the North Campus in the long term.

I have to tell ya, I got a little teary-eyed in that conference room as people were sharing.  It is very neat to see something start from the ground up and know that God is letting you be a big part of it!  I was so encouraged because the room was full....and this is just the core leaders....and we've only been doing this for 10 weeks!  It makes me smile at what God may do in the future. It made me hopeful for not one particular thing, but just hopeful that HE is going to accomplish HIS purposes through us...through this team.

We must keep our eyes on HIM!  He is our prize, our reward, our inheritance, our strength, our only hope!

North Knox Community Groups

I need to preface this by saying, I am not proofreading this post. Please excuse any spelling errors!

I have been wanting to write more about what is going on in North Knoxville.  As I have written before, our family is partnering with the Thomas family to start another church campus of Fellowship Church.  The campus will eventually, Lord willing, be in North Knoxville somewheres.

This doesn't mean we are putting up a box and having everyone come on in. It also doesn't mean we are just watching a screen of the current pastors teaching at the other location out in West Knox.

What it does mean is that we are starting to form missional community groups. I know, buzz word--I hate it! However, that is what they are being called.

What is a missional community group?

Well, this could mean different things for different people or different churches around the nation or world.
For us and our purposes what it means is that we are trying to build little pockets of people throughout the North Knox area who are living INTENTIONALLY to spread the GOSPEL!

We are trying to encourage and equip the saints to go out and be salt and light day in and day out.
In the good.
In the hard.
In the mundane.
In the hurting.
In the rejoicing.
In the pain.
In the sickness.
In the scary unknown.
In every moment of our lives....being the hands and feet of Jesus to a dying, sad, lonely and complacent people.

We are trying to teach others and retrain our own minds and hearts that church is not this place we go to once a week (or for some three times) and do this certain thing there and then we go on about our life.

No, we ARE THE CHURCH!  Worship is happening while I am giving my kids a bath, while we are having dinner with strangers in our home, while I am cooking dinner, while I am doing laundry, while I am at work, while I am teaching my children memory verses and so on and so on.

What about at the grocery store? Do I interact with the cashier? Well, as a matter of fact I do. Every time I go to the store I have been checking out with the same lady. I always look for her and we have started talking lately. She has some health problems. Well, now I have a conversation starter and I am slowly getting to know her.  We're just acquaintances, but I can't help but believe that God has plans for her life and He may want to use me to encourage her and be a light to her.

Worship.

We go for walks a lot in our neighborhood. As a result, we get to know our neighbors and build friendships with them.

Noah just started playing soccer for a non-Christian related soccer organization. Steve is the coach and we have just met several other families in our community who are not in the Christian realm.

We are trying to live intentionally. Building relationships with the lost around us and encouraging those in the faith around us.

This isn't anything knew...it's all over the Bible, but today this kind of living is SO counter-culture.
And it can be hard and challenging for me too. But, I just can't help but live this way. This is meaningful living. It's intentional. It's our way of worship to the Father, who first loved us, and this is the only way we can somehow love others.

So, when people ask us, "where is the North campus?" We say, well, there is a pocket of people in Powell and another in Fountain city and those PEOPLE are the CHURCH out in North Knox.

Michael Thomas has been saying, "we are asking people not to do something, but to be something."

Who are you?

What are you living for?

Are you living intentionally?

What is your family's mission?


Eventually, we hope to have a place where all of the missional community groups out here are "congregating" for a time of fellowship, music, teaching, etc. It's a slow process and we are in the early phases of this process.

If you live in North Knoxville and want to be a part of a community group please get in touch with us. We have met with some already existing small groups who are wanting to do something a little different and this has been a great fit for them.

More to come later....

My Pocket Farm

I am from Georgia.

I just LOVE the South!

I love farms and space and land.

I don't have any of those things where I live now.

I just have a nice fenced in backyard with 4 rabbits, a brand new bunny and a dog.

It's my pocket farm because it is pocket sized indeed!

Hopefully one day we will have a few acres of our own, but maybe not. So I will choose to be content with what I have.

While I wait for the day that I may or may not have more land, I have to keep you posted on the growth of our animals and over time all my ideas for our "farm."

Hudson is 9 weeks old and is still sleeping...

A LOT!

Here is Jovie sniffing around her nesting box.

Look at all the fur lining the box that she pulled out of

her belly just before giving birth!

It was so neat to see the whole process!

Jovie is a great mommy too!

Here is the newest addition at exactly one week old. 

Finally getting some fur. 

They really are pretty ugly at this point.

A boy and his dog

*love*

Paige wanted to show off her cowgirl boots. 

Wish her eyes were open...

Belated Valentine's

Valentine's Day is such a fun holiday!

We don't buy our kids gifts , but we do festive things to celebrate this lovely day.

Here is a peek at what we've been doing over the last week or two.

Melt My Heart Crayons

1. Unwrap all your broken crayon pieces

Fill a heart shaped pan with broken crayon pieces.

Throw it in the oven for about 20 min. at 250 degrees,

let cool and then you have these...

SO FUN!

I saw this in a Family Fun magazine a couple of years ago and I

haven't thrown away a broken crayon since. The kids love these...so much

that after five sweet years with Noah he decided to use them to color

all over my dining room wall! WHAT??!!  He is FIVE and has never done that

before.  He said he just wanted to "have some fun with his crayon!"  

Mom was NOT happy!

But please don't let my experience hinder you from making some with your little one.

Noah's Monster Valentine Mailbox

totally awesome and 100% BOY!

Here is a Valentine Noah made 

Red Hot Popcorn

My children and I are popcorn addicts.

So red hot popcorn was perfect for Valentine's Day!

Here is the Red Hot Popcorn recipe:

Pop 1/2 cup popcorn (I use an air popper)

Melt 1 6 oz. box of red hots with 2 TBSP light karo syrup

& 1 stick of butter. Stir often until red hots are completely melted. 

Spread popcorn out on cookie sheets and then pour mixture over the top.

Let cool and ENJOY!

To end our day we played the Newlywed Game with our

Community Group. 

The VanStormers WON...of course!

We also made our traditional Valentine's meal for the 8th year in a row....

**CHICKEN PARMESEAN**