A friend of mine was murdered along with her seven year old son last Sunday morning. She leaves behind two beautiful daughters, Kenna (4) and Emily (1).
Krista was the most transparent person I knew. She was sympathetic. She was thoughtful. She was generous. And she talked smiling all of the time. She had a beautiful smile.
Kenna was born three weeks before Paige. They have matching baby blankets. Zachary was one year older than Noah and their personalities and temperaments were so very similar.
As the news updates progressed throughout the week and we learned how savagely they were murdered by their husband and father our hearts were heavy, our stomachs full of knots. I started pondering a lot of questions that I had never thought about before, namely having to do with the character of God.
I have known many inhumane things to happen in the world and seen so many with my own eyes. So, why now was I questioning God's plan.
Well, it just got personal.
It had never happened to someone that I knew and loved and that I spent time with. A family who had been in my house and we in theirs. A family who we knew loved the Lord and supported us in missions and even to present day. Krista had just sent me an email the day before she was killed telling me she was praying for us.
And my mind starts churning all these thoughts and questions...
How does it all just fall apart?
How does something so sweet turn so evil?
Was he truly a follower of Jesus?
Can Christians murder?
Is murder different than my more "respectable sin?"
Who am I? I'm not any better.
But compared to a murderer, I feel like I'm better.
And I don't like that thought. Because I know I'm not any better.
How is this loving of God?
Why did innocent little Zachary have to struggle for air until he just couldn't anymore and he slipped into Home with Jesus?
This isn't supposed to happen.
Right?
Not like this! Right?
Sometimes God's plan doesn't look or feel better than our own.
Why does Satan have to be the prince of the air?
God, why don't You just crush him now?!
This video by John Piper gave me some solace. Some Truth to chew on. To not question my God because in Him all things hold together. He knows what He is doing. His ways are higher and stronger and I will never completely understand them on this side. But, I pray that I glorify Him and that we glorify Him as we are all sifted as wheat because we will be sifted. May we be satisfied in Him even when life doesn't seem right or fair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmOzTY06mBo&feature=player_detailpage
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