in 40 seconds or less...

This week my sweet little Paige has sent me over the edge on more than one occasion.  Maybe not completely sent me over the edge, but has just made me realize that she can't be left alone for more than 40 seconds.  She is into everything! No exaggeration.  Here is what she has done this week. Some of it looking back on is funny, but tonight it was scary. Please note that in all situations I am in the room with her or have turned my back for literally 30 seconds or walked out of the room for a few seconds.  It's not like she is unsupervised.  Paige is a wanderer.....

1.  I'll start small...we have a craft table in the living room.  Early in the week her and Noah were working with laminated workbooks and dry erase markers.  While they seem to be doing well and entertaining themselves I decide now is a great time to start making their lunches.  So I start preparing lunch and less than a minute later I peak my head over to check on them. Great! Paige has tattoed both arms completely in orange and black dry erase markers....not to mention the table. Easy clean up, but still a mess and she just couldn't use the markers in the appropriate place.

2.  Play-doh is off limits now.  I have given her chance after chance and she still just eats it!  I am convinced she will be a food critique when she's older. She loves to try anything and everything.  Seriously, play-doh, shaving cream, poop....she's tried it all.

3.  Mid-week....Paige has her chef hat on and she is helping me cook dinner.  She is standing in a chair at the counter. There is a drawer beside her that I have told her several times, "please close that and do not open it again."   I turn around for like 20 seconds (literally) to put something on the stove.  I turn back around and she has opened the drawer, pulled out a sharpie and transformed her stuffed puppy (which was on the counter...not sure why??)  into a tiger. Seriously, I was pretty impressed with her art skills.  It had whiskers and black stripes.  BUT, she continuously wanders away from what I have asked her to do!

4.  One other day this week I was trying to get dishes done, so I set her and Noah at the kitchen table with some shaving cream.  Just a little....but Paige cannot just draw in it and squish it between her fingers. She has to do this....


Funny and cute! She was having a blast....I couldn't get upset.  But, you see what I mean....just something in her has to take everything to the next level.  Push the envelope.

5.  Then tonight happened. ....

 Steve and I felt like the worst parents ever!  We just finished dinner and I am cleaning dishes.  Steve and Noah are clearing off the table and Paige is in our spice cabinet..it's right at her level.  She brought Steve some spices to which he told her to go put it back and to shut the door.  I am standing right beside her doing dishes and I think she is putting spices back in. All of a sudden I look over and her face is blood red, gasping for air, pointing to her mouth. And I smell it....pure mint extract!  I pick her up in complete panic mode. Then pick the bottle up....almost empty now and it was just about full before.  She can't catch her breath....so we pour water in her mouth.  All I could think was that her mouth was burning.  Then the vomit comes....again and again and again and again.  We call nurse triage and poison control.  Dumb me did not even think about the alcohol content....89%!! AAAHHHH!!  All four of us were in tears!  Her and I get cleaned up and we had to keep her drinking juice and awake for 2 more hours and make sure she doesn't show signs of drunkenness!  We felt terrible!  You better believe the spice cabinet is moving!

My point is this....Paige continues to not do what we ask of her.  She wanders away from the command given.  I see so much of my spiritual self in her!

 I too am a wanderer at heart.  

All I can think of is "prone to wander, Lord I feel it.....prone to leave the God I love...."  

If He did not keep me in His grasp....if He had not sealed me in Him with the Holy Spirit I am convinced I would leave.

 Thanks be to God for regenerating my heart, casting my sins as far as the east is from the west and demonstrating unconditionally love and justice through His Son's death on a cross!  (not in that order :) )  I still tend to wander from what He has told me to do.  Though I know He knows what is best....at times I think that maybe my way is best for now.  Just like Paige thinks that her idea is a lot better than ours.  I am grateful that GOD never lets go of me and He keeps me in the fold even when I want to go another way.

And when I say go another way...I mean in the day to day grind....I am not always slow to anger with my children, I do not always love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, I am not always an encouragement to my husband and family.  Oh, I am over joyed that my salvation isn't based on my performance, but rather on my faith in the Lord and by grace!